Dearest readers, I became aware of a great injustice this evening while shopping at Target.
Clever readers, do not spend $5 on toothpaste. Toothpaste is sand (usually diatomaceous earth, i.e. gook from a hole in the bottom of the sea), fluoride, and minty flavor. That is all toothpaste will ever need to be: fluoridated, minty sandpaper. There will never be any new innovations in the science of tooth scraping. Crest Pro-Health will not make your teeth any whiter than Crest 3D Brightschnazzles, and truly, your teeth should be slightly yellow because that is the natural color of enamel.
Thus I implore you not to be taken in by toothpaste chicanery, and instead buy the cheap stuff.
Unless you really want mint lime zest flavor, then I guess do what you want. Just don't expect it to make you more adventurous.
I love you a ton.
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