The toothpaste conspiracy

Dearest readers, I became aware of a great injustice this evening while shopping at Target.

Clever readers, do not spend $5 on toothpaste. Toothpaste is sand (usually diatomaceous earth, i.e. gook from a hole in the bottom of the sea), fluoride, and minty flavor. That is all toothpaste will ever need to be: fluoridated, minty sandpaper. There will never be any new innovations in the science of tooth scraping. Crest Pro-Health will not make your teeth any whiter than Crest 3D Brightschnazzles, and truly, your teeth should be slightly yellow because that is the natural color of enamel.

Thus I implore you not to be taken in by toothpaste chicanery, and instead buy the cheap stuff.

Unless you really want mint lime zest flavor, then I guess do what you want. Just don't expect it to make you more adventurous.

Killing for Science: Sterilization with Gamma Radiation

As with most of my posts, this story begins with me and my curiosity.

We enjoy back scratches and long walks on the beach. I am so good at Photoshop. Wow. Just wow.

In the depths of the windowless labs that grad students such as myself call home, one will often find a number of things saying, "Sterilized with gamma radiation."

I'm having trouble actually finding one at the moment, so enjoy this blurry picture instead.

Being an eminent scientist of highest regard, I of course know what gamma radiation is. It is the highest energy, shortest wavelength of light (electromagnetic radiation).

Thank you, Victor Blacus of Wikipedia, for this nice image!

But the question remains, and has quietly niggled at the back of my mind, of how one creates such radiation in a controlled manner. In addition, how does one protect oneself from these Death Rays of Death(TM)? To answer these questions, I once again don my Internet armor and brave the wilds of Google!

Pretty much exactly like this.

Gamma radiation is generally produced in commercial settings by cobalt 60, an isotope of cobalt that is artificially created in ATOM SMASHERS (capitals used for dramatic effect). These Death Rays of Death(TM) are incredibly good at penetrating matter (are you thinking something dirty? Stop that. Shame on you), which is why they are great for sterilizing things, particularly things that are already packaged. When they actually do hit something, they whack electrons off of it. Inside of cells, that creates ions and radicals that go on to react with ans destroy everything else. Because the Death Rays are so good at getting through stuff, it takes a lot to keep them off you. You know how, at the dentist, they put that lead vest on you to take a tooth x-ray? Same concept, just a slightly bigger vest. Maybe like a foot thick.

Is that it, I imagine you asking? Well, some stories are short. Plus, I'm on vacation right now, so I'm shocked I actually finished this post before the new year! I wouldn't count on any more for a week or two, unless my co-blogger feels his spirit moved to write. Merry Holidays!



UPDATE: Super cool extra bit of awesome (that I forgot to add before):
According to my microbiology professor in undergrad, ground black pepper is chock-full of wee bits of insect and whatnot, because the producers can just sterilize it post-grinding. I've never actually tried it, but he said that you can see shiny pieces of beetle shell if you look at ground pepper under a microscope. Bon appetit!